I am very concerned by the health of my Grandma and my mind is not really into this. I just hope that mistress Max would understand. I dropped her yesterday at the airport and shipped the stuffed she asked me to ship with FedEx. I just hope that she has a good trip.

Yesterday, I finally met Mistress Max. What a day??? I was so nervous at the airport that i couldn't calm down. But Mistress Max has the power to relax you with a lot of jokes a little good words. We went to eat and buy some stuff. Finally, we went to her hotel. i thought that the wine should be cold therefore i lefty it at home to be cold. But Mistress Max wanted her wine with the water and flowers. It was a bad mistake and for the first time, i had to take my clothes off in front of a lady and got my first spanking.... Frankly, it was very embarrassing to me. Finally, i went to the store to buy her a champagne.
I went early this morning to work and had to bring Mistress Max some flip-flop because she told me that her foot swell last night and i was afraid that i am again going to have a spanking because I didn't do my journal... she was very nice today
Prosper

Current Mood: embarrassed

i woke up very early in the morning and wanted to talk to Mistress Max. i know that she is a morning person and wake every morning before 6 am for a daily walk in the park but now i know that i should not have called her that early.
Tomorrow is the D-day and i can believe how these last days pass. i just hope that i am not going to mess everything up. and i hope that if i happen to make a mistake she would correct and not just give up on me.
Prosper

Current Mood: calm

After the last agitated night, I need some rest and I am going to take a sleeping today. I know that Mistress Max is going to be there in few days and my stress is running very high. My main concern is that Mistress Max might not like me. I will do my best to be in good disposition. I think that i could not impress her anyway so i just need to be myself.
Prosper

Current Mood: scared

I wish the conversation with Mistress Max last night never happened, i am just very confused and i couldn't sleep during the might. Mistress Max told me that if i need to get married then i have to get married and that is nor workable if i want to serve her. In case i have a wife who have no clue about the lifestyle how could i be able to serve her?
Why are things never easy for me? I am really fucked up in my mind and i don't know what to do. Could somebody just guide me and show me the light?????
I have a 3 hours class this afternoon and i haven't have any sleep...what a mess...
Prosper

Current Mood: crushed

Yesterday, I had a very interesting conversation with Mistress Max. I thought about that the whole day because just make me think a lot about the lifestyle and my future.
It is obvious that just talking and seeing Mistress Max on the pictures, she is a very attractive woman and i have feeling for her. However, I know that i want to become her slave and it's impossible to share my love with love her and i was stupid to think that maybe one day i could marry her as my Mistress wife now i know that it won't happen.
I am just very confuse about the situation. My family will not understand that i stay single my whole life i am sure that it's going to cause me problem visavis my folks. On the other hand, i am a submissive man in my inner... and i won't be happy just living a vanilla life. My family is very important to me and Mistress Max is about to become very important in my life. I really need to find the way to reconcile these to part of my life and i have the feeling that it won't be easy. I just hope that God would help me to find the solution.
I just finish to watch the secret and it is a very powerful movie that makes me think a lot about how to conduct my life now on. I don't know if Mistress Max found out that i always focus on the bad feelings that's why she made me watch it and it really opens my eyes.
Two things I have retained from the movie:
- Your wish is my command.
- Inner happiness is the fuel of success.
I really need to start thinking positive to have the law of attraction working on my favor.

Current Mood: thoughtful

I just finished to watch the Democratic presidential debat on CNN and my two favorites Clinton and Obama did very well. There are too many candidates ond the tone of this kind of setting is really confusing. # or 4 people on the podium should be the max, then we can talk broadly about the issues.
Prosper

Current Mood: cheerful